I want to talk about how this weekend everything felt amazing but the amazing didn't last long. I don't understand why besides money being the issue.
I want a life where I can buy what I want when I want it. I want to have experiences without money being the issue always. Bills and debt and all of it. Buying things that are worth it is so necessary.
This week is reminding me of my abilities.
What balance actually is
Balance is the sweet spot. It is when all your bills are paid, food is in the kitchen, the car is working great. Balance is having your own home and a good relationship with yourself and your partner. Balance is happiness with boundaries.
Balance is also the ability to regulate your nervous system even when it is overloaded.
The part people skip
A lot of people think God, creator, universe is just going to give them something without return. It doesn't work that way. In order to keep the balance we have to forfeit knowingly. We have to surrender something we no longer need in exchange for something else. They can take it or we can give it.
I have learned that the best things to swap are grief, pain, and trauma. Anything negative taking up space.
Because unfortunately my scales have been too heavy on the negative and I can tell by my skin. My habits. My hobbies. My interests. My day to day. I am not balanced. That is the key. Balancing self.
When the property came
When I got the property it felt like wow, I am finally getting some positive feedback. I am finally doing enough.
I didn't realize then that this isn't about how much you can do or how good you are at it. It is about love. It is about self compassion. It is about understanding that the mirror is always facing us.
Why some people stay stuck
Some people are still moving from lack. They don't believe they will achieve it or get it. They let the sorrows of the past and old triggers interrupt the thoughts of achieving.
Our minds are powerful and if we do not learn to control them they will control us.
What I would tell you
I understand that right now things are beyond hard. You are doing everything in your power to stay consistent and show up for yourself. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can continue to do.
This is a tough season and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you need a break take it. But also remember not to stop completely. This work isn't just for the physical manifestation rewards. It is about winning internally too.
It is a mirror. Once we show ourselves that we can, it is ours. Without the stress of what happens if we lose it.
We are learning how to create happiness where we are, so when we get to the end goal we know how to hold on to it.
